LiFL Outtakes
by xsecretxkeeperx
Summary: Outtakes from my story titled Lessons in Forbidden Love.
1. Read After ch6: The First Break

**A/N: This lovely little piece was written for the beautiful **_Amymorgan_** for her winning bid in the September Support Stacie Auction. You all should thank her tremendously. If you like it, haha. If you don't... well, then... ouch. ^_^ Here's hoping you like it! Also a million and one thanks to my wonderful, fantastic beta-extrodinaire, **_pwtf_**. I'm not freaking out right now because that chick has my back like** **an fashionista has clothes. She's amazing.**

**I do not own Twilight or Edward. I only like to make them do my bidding. Mwahahahaha! This is set a few months after Edward meets Bella. They're still very new to each other. And Edward is a bit of a perv, haha.**

* * *

~*~The First Break~*~

* * *

I watched longingly as she left the parking lot in that old, beat up truck. What was wrong with me? I shouldn't have had the urge to kiss her before she climbed into the beast, or more prominently, ask her back to my place. She was seventeen for Christ's sake!

_And the age of consent in Washington is sixteen._

No! I was not going there. It didn't matter that she was legal in that sense; it was wrong in so many other ways. I was her teacher! And I wasn't that kind of guy, either. If I _ever_ slept with Bella, it would be because I cared about her and wanted a relationship with her, not because I needed a good bone.

_But you do care about her._

I couldn't deny myself that fact. I'd only known Bella for a few months, but it felt as if I'd known her my whole life. The feelings she evoked were something I rarely felt with anyone, but for some odd reason, my heart wanted to open up to her.

She knew bits and pieces of my history with my sister and how I dealt with the loss of my parents. She knew my favorite books and music and that I hated grapes and bottled spaghetti sauce. She knew how I felt about religion, how I'd nearly lost my faith in God, and what my political views were. She knew it all, because I wanted to tell her.

I wanted her to know me, to know where I came from and what made me the way I was. I wanted her to see past the label of 'teacher' and into the person. And she did. She knew me and got me, even parts I didn't fully understand myself. It was incredible to be that close to someone. It was also terrifying.

Getting to know someone on such a personal basis always came with the risk of getting your heart slightly chipped or completely shattered, but doing so with a student made the risk even more dangerous. It was no longer just my heart on the line, but also my job and reputation. I just couldn't get her out of my head long enough to focus on the consequences.

Everything about her was intriguing, and I absorbed every detail of information she gave me and even more of what she didn't. She held nothing back, but there are things about a person that they can't tell you themselves. I found out quickly that by studying her face, I could almost tell what she was thinking – though she was the most difficult person I had ever tried to read.

She was everything and nothing I expected her to be. Her passion for writing and creating was unrivaled by anyone I had ever met, but she felt as though her work was mediocre at best. She was incredibly mature for her age, not just her actions and demeanor, but her thoughts as well. And yet, there was something so young and refreshing about her. She had a heart the size of an ocean and no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I wanted to be immersed in her love and kindness.

_There are a few other parts of her you want to immerse yourself in, too._

My fingers squeezed the steering wheel in protest to where my mind had just gone. It was perfectly fine to be more than acquaintances with a student, even become friends, but the other thoughts in my head needed to stop. It was not all right to want a romantic relationship with her, and it was definitely not all right to imagine my seventeen year old student on her knees in front of me, saying dirty things before she takes my cock in her mouth.

Unfortunately, the image of Bella's dark hair cascading over her bare chest as she worked her mouth on me was not something that I could just get rid of, and my pants were becoming uncomfortably tight as I drove home.

_Old Mr. Donald's teeth, Mrs. Cope in lingerie, Emmett's prune and raw egg concoction, Mrs. Cope pouring Emmett's concoction all over her body..._

Yeah, that did it. I shuddered, trying to rid myself of the curing picture as I locked my car.

I made my way up to my apartment and popped open a beer before pulling out a piece of chicken to thaw for dinner. I would be eating alone again. Emmett and I ate dinner together sometimes if neither of us had plans… well, if _he_ didn't have plans, but tonight was his third date with Nurse Patty from the Forks hospital. Damn the fucker to hell, he was probably getting some tonight.

I hadn't gotten laid in six months. After Carry, I just wanted to be a free agent for a while, but now that I was finally ready to be with someone again, I couldn't get past a first date.

_No, you couldn't get past the fact that they didn't have deep brown eyes or mahogany-colored hair and their name wasn't Bella._

Ignoring one's mind is a hard accomplishment and nearly impossible to master. I'd had a lot of practice since the day I met Bella, but my thoughts still betrayed me more often than not. Plopping down on the sofa, I figured a movie was the best way to get her out of my head. I hit the movie menu and scrolled down till I found something interesting.

_Never Been Kissed_, I snorted. Not that I would choose that movie to begin with, but the irony of a supposed student teacher attraction was not lost on me. I scrolled down a little further and saw _Notes on a Scandal._ Okay, this was ceasing to be funny. When I hit the next page and saw _Wild Things_ right after some creepy horror flick that Emmett made me watch where a girl falls for her teacher, I turned off the TV and threw the remote to the other end of the couch.

I took a deep pull from my beer and set it on the end table. The universe was not being kind today, and now the racy scenes from a few of those movies were running through my head with Bella as the star. The frustration from not getting a release earlier was making my current problem all the more difficult. Without much thought, I ran my hand over my pants, feeling my jaw go slack at the contact. It felt so fucking good.

I tried not to think of Bella, but my mind always went back to her. Whether she was naked, clothed, standing, or laid out beneath me, it was always her. I stroked myself again through the fabric of my slacks and let out a gust of air as I imagined Bella sitting beside me on my couch, kissing my neck and using her hand to pleasure me.

I wanted her so badly I could taste it, but my thoughts flashed on Bella smiling at me over her tattered copy of Romeo and Juliet and I stopped immediately. What would she think if she knew what I was doing? I wanted to believe that she'd be turned on, but I knew she'd think me disgusting.

With clenched fists, I got up begrudgingly from the couch and made my way to my computer to check my email, snatching up my beer on the way. I would need a cold shower in a few minutes, and then I'd fix myself dinner. There were a few junk messages that I deleted right away, and I replied to chain joke email that Emmett sent me, coming finally to a new message from Rosalie.

I wanted to read it, but I didn't know if I could handle the anger and regret that came from every update she sent me. I was stuck staring at her name for several minutes before my eyes drifted down to an email from BellsOnSwans(at)yahoo(dot)com_._ I smiled and clicked it open.

_Hey Edward,_

_I know we just left, but I got this great idea for the magazine and I had to share it. What if we had the art students create sketches and such to go with the writing we select? It'll be a way to get more students involved and I think it's that missing something that we've been talking about. What do you think?_

_Bella_

Edward. I'd put us on a first name basis over a month ago and I still got a thrill whenever she said it. Hell, she didn't even say it. It was written on my computer screen, but the sight of it made my heart leap in my chest. I sent back a quick reply and turned off the computer, making my way to the bathroom for that shower. How her calling me what everyone else called me could get me even more turned on was beyond my comprehension at the moment.

I turned the water as cold as it would go and stepped in, clenching my teeth to keep from squealing like a little girl. When I was good and flaccid, I turned up the heat and let the water warm me before I uncapped the shampoo.

As I scrubbed my scalp, my mind took me back to when I'd first met Bella. She was gorgeous, with her hair pulled back in a loose French braid, stray wisps curling about her face. She wasn't like the other high school girls that waltzed though the halls in heavy makeup and flirty clothing, trying to catch the eye of someone special. She wasn't like most women, in that way.

She had a natural beauty that might have been enhanced by lip gloss and eye shadow, but I really couldn't tell. She dressed nice, but her style was understated. That first day of LitMag, she wore form-fitting jeans and long-sleeved cotton shirt, low-cut just enough to show off her collar bones and the tiniest hint of cleavage.

It was her eyes that caught me entirely off guard, however. They were a beautiful shade of brown, like fresh coffee with flecks of caramel. Where most young women had a playful, innocent gaze, hers was deep and profound, still innocent, but with a knowledge that even some middle-aged women didn't carry.

"I'm Mr. Cullen, and you must be Bella?" I asked, holding out my hand. She shook it with an odd mixture of confidence and timidity. It was completely endearing.

"I am. It's a pleasure to be working with you. Mrs. Haussler's told me a bit about what you're aiming to do for the school and the English program and I think it's wonderful."

I grinned bigger than I had in a while and gave Bella a rundown of what to expect as Editor in Chief. At the time, I blamed my smile on the compliments Bella had bestowed on me, but in reality, I was more enraptured by her complete being than I was in anything that had to do with the magazine or my involvement in it.

As the meeting progressed, I couldn't take my eyes off her. There were other students there, all interested in what I had to say, but she kept drawing my attention back to her without even trying. When she smiled, I could feel my own lips twitch in response, and when I heard her laugh for the first time, my stomach was doing back flips.

Later that night, I told myself that my excitement was the result of working on the magazine with several talented young minds, and that I could put aside my inappropriate fascination with a student just as easily as I had succumbed to it. I didn't find anything all right in lusting after a teenager, and I was sure that I could get over her charms with little effort. Oh, how wrong I was.

I hadn't even realized that I'd made my way down to my dick and that I was several strokes past getting clean until my erection started pulsing in my hand. I hadn't been thinking of anything overtly sexual, but my body had been screaming for a release all day and I couldn't deny myself any longer.

I thought about Carry at first, but she did nothing for me anymore. We'd had a good time together while it lasted, but she got serious and I just couldn't, making the time I spent with her less fun and more fight. Moving on, I pictured Scarlett Johansson removing her clothes in a seductive striptease. It was hot, but it wasn't long before the Hollywood blonde became a stunning brunette with porcelain skin and a pointed chin, giving her face a vague resemblance to the shape of a heart.

I tried to shift my mind again, but my cock wouldn't listen. It wanted Bella and only Bella and as she trailed her hand gracefully down her naked stomach, I couldn't bring myself to care that I was a pervert.

She looked me in the eye, though hers were heavily lidded, as one hand methodically pressed and pulled at her nipple and breast, the other playfully dipping below the edge of her black lace panties. She was sprawled out on my couch, her legs spread and bent at the knee as I looked down at her from the far end.

Her hand disappeared behind the lace and she gave a small cry of pleasure, her brows furrowing, but her gaze never straying from mine. I could imagine her teeth digging into her soft, lower lip and my hand sped up involuntarily. I had to force myself to calm down. I hated myself for submitting to my desires, but if I was already going to Hell, I was sure as fuck going to enjoy the ride.

When my stroking was set back at a steady pace, I resumed my fantasy and could feel my own teeth digging into my lip. I was hovering over Bella, our skin only separated by a thin layer of humid air.

"I want you so badly right now," I whispered roughly in her ear. "I want to drive you to scream my name and make you mine. I need to fuck you."

"Please, Edward, I need to feel you inside me." Bella begging for my cock was the sexiest thing I'd ever heard, and I wanted more of it, even if it was all in my head.

I touched against her, just barely, the smooth surface of my shaft grazing under the wetness of her pussy. "Tell me what you want, baby."

"You, just you, please," she whimpered as I pressed myself a little more firmly to her heated center.

"I want to hear you say it, Bella. What do you want?"

Bella bucked her hips once and dragged her teeth along my earlobe before whispering exactly what she wanted. I squeezed harder and slowly pulled away from my body, only to come right back again.

"I want you to bury your cock so deep inside of me that I'll be able to feel you in my very soul," she whispered breathlessly. "And then I want you to fuck me so hard and fast that every time I move in the next week I'll be able to feel you, like you're still between my legs."

The words affected me so intensely that I almost forgot I had created them. I needed to be consumed by her in every way possible.

As I entered Bella, I fisted my hand at the tip of my cock and pushed through. Bella gasped my name and I began thrusting into my hand, imagining her writhing beneath me. She was so fucking beautiful, her hair fanned out and wild on the cushion beneath her, her breasts bouncing with every rock of my hips and her mouth forming the little shape of an 'o' as I brought her to orgasm.

I felt the burning sensation down my spine and the hot squeeze of my balls as I came. My knees felt shaky and eyes felt pleasantly heavy, but what was more, I felt like I was going to be sick. The water streaming down my back was starting to cool, but I didn't care. I'd crossed the line.

I'd been able to tell myself that I could resist her. I was sure that it was a passing crush I could just ignore. But I gave in. I'd put off masturbating for months because I didn't want to risk using her, and in a matter of minutes I had disregarded everything I was trying to do.

I got out of the shower and threw on a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt before making my way to the fridge for another beer. I pulled open the fridge and stared at the six-pack sitting there with one bottle missing. I rarely drank to get drunk, but beer was just not going to cut it tonight.

I shut the refrigerator door and made my way to the hard liquor cabinet, pulling out the Crown Royal. I didn't like to flaunt my money, but I wasn't going to settle for Jack Daniels when I could have something a hell of a lot smoother. I grabbed a glass from the next cupboard and poured myself a generous amount.

I stood at the counter sipping my first glass and then poured myself another. The warmth that started in my stomach had spread to my cheeks, but I still felt like a horrible human being. I just wanted it to go away. I poured out a third glass and took both it and the bottle to the living room. The lights were off and the sun had gone down. Though I could make my way by the light from outside the window, the darkness engulfed me.

I'd failed her. My whole life all I'd ever wanted to do was make her proud and I failed. My mother had taught me good from bad, right from wrong, and I couldn't do the simplest of things to honor her memory without ruining it in the worst way. I could almost see the look on her face when she'd find out what a pervert her son was; the disappointment in her eyes, the small frown where her beautiful smile should always be.

I finished off the third glass and then took a swig from the bottle, letting the glass fall sideways out of my hand. I could feel the alcohol working its way through my brain, blurring my vision and dulling my senses, but the ache was still there. I ached for so many things, and in the end they all amounted to pain.

I ached for my parents, but they were gone forever. I ached for my sister, but my pride was too important to me. I ached for a woman, but the only one I wanted was forbidden. I ached for Bella, but the consequences were far too great. I ached to be rid of my feelings for Bella, but the thought of not being with her almost hurt worse than everything else.

I pulled out my phone and just stared at Bella's number. I drank again from the bottle, contemplating what I was about to do. If I called her, if I told her everything, it would all be over. She would have me arrested or fired and I would have to move back to the house. I wouldn't be a sick freak anymore, staring at her, wishing she was mine.

But as I held my thumb firmly on the send button, the thought of never seeing Bella again and the last image being of her repulsed face crippled me. I wouldn't survive that.

I pushed buttons in random, taking out my frustrations on my phone and then threw it on the ground. When I looked at the pathetic little device lying open on hardwood floor, I felt my heart break a little. It didn't do anything wrong, but I hurt it because I was a weak piece of dirt. I didn't remember drinking the rest of the bottle of whiskey, but when I tried to pull from it, it was empty. I crawled over to the phone after failing to stand. I finally made it and stroked the sides of the tiny silver device.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean it." I thought I might have heard the phone talking back to me, but shook it off. I was drunk enough to talk to inanimate objects, but not enough to think they could talk back. "She makes me do things I don't do. I mean, I do _do_ them, but I didn't. Or I think I didn't. I mean, I never thought I do… would. I'm so sorry."

I listened again to the phone just to be sure, but there was nothing. I sighed in relief. I didn't want to add crazy onto the list of names I'd been calling myself, though it might not have been too far off the mark.

I stayed on the floor for a few more minutes, letting the booze settle a bit. When I was ready to move, I decided I wasn't drunk enough. I was able to make it to my feet with the help of the table and a chair, and then I made my way to the cabinet, taking a swig from the first bottle my hand found. The shock of the taste made me cough a little even though the alcohol was smooth. I had grabbed the quarter-empty bottle of Patrón. Good as any, I guessed.

As I took another swig, my head started pounding and I lowered the bottle, looking at it in confusion. You weren't supposed to get a hangover till the morning after, I'd thought. I heard the pounding again and realized it wasn't inside my head, but was coming from the living room. When I got there and focused a little, I could hear a voice as well.

"Damn it, open the door before I knock it down, Edward."

I stumbled across the room and fumbled with the lock. When I finally got the door open, I squinted in the light from the balcony. The hulking form of Emmett McCarty was standing in my doorway wearing an angry expression.

"Are you going to kill me?" Emmett and I had become great friends since the start of the school year – I would even go as far as to call him my best friend – but all things considered, in my drunken haze he looked more like the angel of death.

"I just might," he said, pushing his way past me.

Any other time, I would have moved, or at least caught my footing after the fact, but the alcohol had slowed my response time exponentially. When Emmett made his way into my apartment like he always did, I fell backwards trying to catch the wall on my way down. I hit the ground with a thud and didn't bother getting up. Screw being a good host. I was drunk.

"Edward, what the hell? How much did you have?" I didn't answer. He'd figure it out himself. "Edward." The voice was closer. "Shit," it whispered and then I felt a tingly stinging sensation in my cheek where Emmett had slapped me. My eyes popped open to a calm face, disappointment lacing its features. "Wake up."

"I'm awake, asshole." He didn't respond to my anger, only helped me to my feet.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

"No." I wasn't ready for bed. I could still see Bella in my head and my mother's face and I couldn't deal with that shit. I needed more tequila. As soon as Emmett saw where I was headed he caught onto the back of my shirt and I hit the ground again. "You know, if you're gonna make me fall, you might consider catching me, too."

"It's more fun this way."

"Asshole," I said under my breath. Or I thought I did. The deep baritone laugh coming from above me meant Emmett heard me loud and clear. At least he wasn't disappointed in me anymore.

"What happened, Eddie? I know this is about a chick. I heard 'she' something and 'sorry,' so what did you do?"

"My mom hates me," I said honestly. He wanted to know, so I would tell him.

I felt him stiffen behind me and then shift to the side before he came into view, sitting on the ground beside me. His face was sober now, no trace of the earlier humor he'd been expressing. Neither one of us talked for several minutes – or maybe it was seconds, I didn't know.

"Your mom died a long time ago, Edward."

I nodded, "Yep." Emmett waited and I could feel the words coming up like vomit. "She wanted me to be good, but I'm not. I'm a fucker. I want to fuck 'er," I laughed at my little joke and then stopped. Just another thing for my mother to disapprove of. I put my head in my hands and toppled to the ground. "Fuck."

"Whoa, come on." I felt Emmett's hands grip my shoulders and lift me into a sitting position.

"I can see her face," I whispered. "The frown and sad eyes because I can't do anything right. I'm such a fucking screw up."

Emmett didn't say anything, but helped me to my feet once more and walked me to my bedroom. I collapsed on the bed, barely registering the sound of my best friend rifling through my possessions. He called my name a few times when he got back and I only opened my eyes to avoid getting slapped again.

"Look," he said and shoved my wallet in my hand. It was open to a picture of my mother and father on their twentieth wedding anniversary, the year before they died. Dad was looking at Mom as she looked at the camera. "Who took this picture?"

"Me?" I knew, of course, that I'd taken the picture, but I didn't understand what that had to do with anything.

"Right, and how is your mother looking at you?"

I looked at the picture again and could feel my chest squeezing as my eyes struggled to stay dry. Love was the only word that came to mind when I looked at her. She loved me even though I'd broken her favorite serving dish just that afternoon by roughhousing with one of my friends.

"It's not the same."

"It's always the same. You think I don't do a hell of a lot to be a pain in my mother's ass? I know you Edward, and whatever you think you did wrong, it doesn't matter to her. Even if you killed a priest, she'd still be right there holding your hand if she could." Emmett paused a moment. "You didn't kill a priest, did you?"

I shook my head and looked at the picture. It had been a while since I'd opened it. It was one of the best pictures my parents had ever taken. She was like an angel sent down to earth just for him and, eventually, for Rose and me as well. And Emmett was right. I'd messed up and I was crushing hard on a student, but my mom would never abandon me. She'd stand by me regardless of the wrongs I'd committed.

I couldn't fully get over my anger or self-hatred, but I was able to forgive myself just a little. I'd given in to the fantasy, but I'd take no actions to pursue Bella in reality. I couldn't help my feelings for her, but I could keep them buried so long as I didn't get too close. I would be able to live with myself if I could just do that.

I didn't remember Emmett leaving or the world going dark as I closing my eyes. In fact, the next morning when I woke up with a piercing headache, I didn't remember much of anything. How much alcohol had I consumed? I made my way to the kitchen and found the Patrón. What happened to the whiskey that I'd started with?

As I headed to the living room, I heard a choked snore come from the direction of my couch. Why was Emmett here again? I remembered his presence, but for the life of me couldn't remember why. I kicked the massive leg that was hanging off the side and my hulk-like friend stirred awake.

"What happened to Patty?"

"You called in the middle of dessert," he said groggily.

"Oh, God-"

"Not that dessert, dumbass. Do you really think I'd answer my phone if I was getting a little somethin'?" I sighed in relief. At least my drunk-dialing hadn't been more than just inconvenient. "Besides, I was looking for a way out of it anyway."

"I thought you liked Patty."

"I did, until she started going on and on about her ex. I'm not into chicks with baggage."

"I'm going to laugh when you end up with the three kids and a loser ex-husband scenario," I said with a small grin. Emmett tossed one of the throw pillows at me. "So what happened last night?"

Emmett looked up at me with a speculative expression, but didn't say anything. He looked as if he was trying to decide what to say. After a few seconds he just smiled shook his head.

"You don't want to know, man. You don't want to know."

I tossed the pillow back at him then and fell onto the couch. "Game's on. Want to stay?"

"Sure, I'll get us some beers."

We spent the day yelling at the TV and laughing about Patty's anger issues, but I couldn't get rid of the weight that seemed to take up residence in the pit of my stomach. No matter how I tried to ignore the heaviness and doubt, it felt like there was only a matter of time before my entire world came crashing down around me.

_You are so screwed._

Unfortunately, I couldn't disagree with myself.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, no, maybe? Edward had/has some issues, haha. I'd love to know what you think and then next chapter of Lessons in Forbidden Love will be up soon. Thank you so much for reading.**


	2. Read After ch12: Halloween Treats&Tarts

**A/N: Hey guys, this was originally meant to be a small outtake that I sent via review or PM, but it grew and my computer died, so I'm posting it here so no one will miss out on it. Hope that's okay! Next chapter of LiFL will be out when I can get my comp fixed, which will not be soon, sorry. I promise it will be good when it gets here though! For those who don't know, this is the Chapter 12 Outtake from Edward's POV. And I don't own any of it.**

* * *

~*~Halloween Treats and Tarts~*~

* * *

I had almost caved exactly three times in the last week. The first had been when Bella asked to be excused that first day back. So many thoughts ran through my mind: Was this my fault? Did she remember another piece of the weekend? Was she hurt? What happened! I could see that something was wrong, but it wasn't my place to question her.

The second had been in my third period when I overheard Mike Newton talking to another boy in class.

"Man, she's hot. I've never seen a girl fill a pair of jeans the way she does."

"Seriously?" Tyler questioned. "I don't see it. Bella's all right, but I'd rather hit _that._" He smirked, nodding to the blonde in the first row.

"Whatever. I really like her. I think I'm gonna ask her to Prom."

I clenched the pen in my hand and glared at the boys, gesturing sharply to the TV they were supposed to be watching. I had wanted to run straight to Bella and tell her to forget everything, just be in my life no matter how risky. Thankfully, I'd had time to cool down before LitMag.

The third incident was no bigger than a stumble in the hallway. Bella had been on her way to the cafeteria for lunch and I had spotted her as I made my way to the Teacher's Lounge. Her shoelace was untied, creating a deathtrap for the only person I knew who could attract danger like a high-powered magnet. Before I could say anything to warn her, she pitched forward.

I'd reacted on instinct, racing to get to her before she hit the ground, but the event corrected itself rather quickly as Bella caught a nearby locker and held herself upright. I stopped and watched her continue down the hall, completely oblivious to my longing presence.

I wanted to punch something. I had never been a very violent man, but I didn't know how to deal with all the conflicting emotions I was having. It wasn't fair. I finally found someone I loved more than anything and I had to let her just walk away.

The next few days passed uneventfully. Bella continued to break my heart, and I continued to break her spirit. Then she asked me what I was doing on Halloween and my resolve was tested once again.

"Bella, we can't—"

"Because my friends have convinced me to go trick-or-treating. We might hit up some of the apartments near the elementary school." She rattled off the words so quickly I almost didn't catch what she said.

The hope in her eyes made me crumble. Emmett and I had made plans to grab a beer on the way back from Seattle Halloween night, but I knew right away that I would be cancelling on him. I couldn't say no to her, and I hated that I had no willpower left to speak of.

"There's a horror-fest on HBO this year, so I'm going to stay in," I said. "And, um... and I pass out really good candy. I mean, anyone who doesn't stop by my place is seriously missing out."

I was done for. She smiled brilliantly at me, but I couldn't move. She was coming to my apartment in just over two weeks. We were breaking the rules. Somehow I thought I would be more upset about that.

I had gone to see Rose every weekend of October, but I left a day early the weekend of Halloween to curious eyes from all but Tanya. All day Sunday, I anticipated Bella coming to my door. Would she stop by earlier or later? Who would she be with? What would she be wearing?

I cringed. Of course my mind had to imagine Bella in some sort of skimpy fairytale costume; I didn't like the idea one bit. I felt like I was the only one allowed to see her in something sexy like that. It was possessive and ridiculous of me, I knew, but I couldn't help it.

When the doorbell rang at four-thirty, my heart felt like it would beat right out of my chest. I picked up the bowl and opened the door, releasing my breath when I saw the mass of mini-super-heroes on the balcony.

"Trick-or-treat!" they yelled in unison. I smiled at the older gentlemen I recognized from a few apartments down, and then let the boys pick out which candy they wanted, laughing when their eyes grew wide at the size.

The store had been cleaned out of anything relating to Halloween, the only candy bags left being those of generic tarts and gummies. I had looked high and low for a bag with Reese's in it, but there was nothing. So instead I decided to clean out their candy supply.

Two boxes of Snickers, two of M&Ms and Milky Ways , three of Kit-Kats, and one box of Reese's later, I was loaded down with bags and on my way out through the automatic doors. I had just gotten my trunk situated when a familiar motorbike pulled up beside me.

This was the guy who'd tried to put Bella on the back of his bike, an accident waiting to happen for someone like Bella. This was the jackass who'd forced a kiss on the girl I loved. He wasn't James, I knew that, but it didn't change my feelings of disgust for him.

I moved to get in my car, not wanting to acknowledge his effect on me. He might not have been my student, but he was still a kid, and getting into an altercation with him wouldn't bode well after all that had already happened.

"You're looking well after your hectic weekend," he said to my back, tone biting and unwelcome.

"Thanks." My own voice was clipped as I continued opening my door and getting inside. He obviously knew the details of what went down in Seattle , and I had to admit it hurt.

I hadn't heard anything more about… Jared? Or was it Mark? Jared Marks? … since early September, and I was almost sure Bella stopped contact after that. I knew Bella – what she liked, how she reacted – and the concept of her remaining friends with someone like him hadn't even occurred to me. I had apparently miscalculated the strength of their friendship if she'd told him something so personal.

Jared's hand clamped down on the top of my door, preventing me from closing it and driving away. "Don't you know it's rude to ignore someone who's trying to talk to you?"

"I didn't ignore you and I'm in a hurry, so if you'll excuse me, I need to get going."

"I'm not done talking to you yet," he snarled. This kid was seriously getting on my last nerve.

"Look, Jared—"

"Jacob," he practically shouted. "Jacob Black, and you damn well knew that!"

I didn't feel like arguing, so I took a deep breath and said calmly, "Jacob, this is neither the time nor the place for whatever problem you have with me—"

"I'm not the one with the problem. At least I wasn't until I heard what a freak you are, taking your students to clubs, putting them—"

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Two thoughts ran through my mind: the first being that this kid was delusional; the second being that Bella obviously hadn't filled him in on what happened and I hadn't miscalculated anything.

"You heard me," he said stubbornly.

"Listen here, Black. I don't know what you think you know, but you need to keep quiet before someone hears you," I warned, glaring up at him from the driver's seat.

"Afraid of getting in trouble?" The cocky bastard had the balls to smirk at me. I growled.

"I'm afraid of one of my students being put in an uncomfortable position by some bigmouthed kid who spouts off private details in a public place." By the look on Black's face, he obviously hadn't thought of anyone overhearing our conversation and it affecting Bella. "Now, if you'll get your hand off my car, I'd like to get going."

That night, I had called Emmett and told him to meet me at the gym. I might not have been able to punch Black in the nose, but I could punch a bag and pretend it had his face.

The doorbell rang again and I was bombarded with princesses, vampires, and bumblebees. The later it got, the more I wondered if maybe Bella had changed her mind about coming to see me. Trick-or-treating wasn't exactly a teenage pastime. What if she and her friends decided to forego candy for a more "adult" way of celebrating? But Bella wasn't the partying type, and when she made a promise she stuck to it.

The doorbell rang again and I opened it immediately, a grin lifting my cheeks almost painfully. She was here.

"Bella," I said, taking a moment to look at her. She was dressed as Winnie the Pooh, cute as all hell, but covered. I sighed minutely and turned to greet Alice and Jasper before turning and seeing the fourth member of their group. "Black."

He was dressed as Eeyore, and I resisted the urge to smirk. It was fitting, really. The jackass was dressed as a jackass.

"Cullen," he spat back, but I wasn't going to play this game. I turned back to Bella and smiled.

"You guys look great. Everyone loves Winnie the Pooh, right?" I don't know what possessed me to say it, but the blush lighting Bella's face, paired with her shy smile, was exquisite.

"That was the idea."

I waited patiently for either Bella or her friends to move things along, but no one made any motion to receive their candy. Jasper asked flat out for a Snicker bar, but I wasn't having any of that. I wanted the full experience.

Bella rolled her eyes, as full of joy as they were, and said the traditional plea. I grinned. She was amazing. A simple verse and she had my heart wrapped around her finger.

I decided to be playful with my students, putting on a show as I handed over their candy, and I couldn't deny that it was due in part to my need to touch Bella. Just a brush of the hand and my entire world shook.

Jacob made a rude departure, but I paid him little attention. Bella was still standing at my door, rooting me to the spot with her smile.

"I miss you," she said quietly.

"I know what you mean," I sighed. "I've seen you all month, and yet I haven't seen you at all."

"Thank God." She let out a nervous giggle and looked up at me in relief. "You seemed to be taking it so much better than I was. I was sure I was going crazy or something."

"Nah, I just have a good poker face is all," I smiled, feeling all of the sudden like I needed more. In just a few minutes she would leave and I would be filled with the same emptiness I'd had all month. "But, um…" What could I say? Come inside and let me hold you? Kiss you? Be with you forever? No, definitely not. But I could do something to make sure we saw each other again. If I invited her to Seattle , we'd not need to worry about our special restrictions. "You know, we—"

"Bella, hurry up!" I heard from down below. Of course the stupid kid would interrupt my Bella time. It was like his favorite hobby.

Bella turned back to me after assuring her friends that she was coming, but I couldn't bring myself to go through with my offer. Perhaps Black was a blessing in disguise.

Bella sighed and gazed up at me sadly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, huh?"

"Yeah," I said, sure that my expression matched her own. "Back to being the Teacher."

We said our goodbyes with a small slipup from Bella, and as I watched her walk away, I knew I would never be able to live without her. I needed to be with her like I needed to breathe. I went inside, grabbed a candy bar, and prayed to God I had the strength to wait until June.


End file.
